I know it’s been a while (again) I mean I don’t know. I don’t have an excuse. It’s a combination of being distracted and making wedding plans (even though i have no idea what the hell I’m doing). I couldn’t really think of anything to write. And then last week it hit me – The Return of Saturn. MY return of saturn. My 29th birthday was last Friday.
And then I thought wait didn’t Angie write about this?
I learned about the “Return of Saturn” when I was 15 – when No Doubt released their album of the same title. Of which was on repeat in my discman my first 2 years of high school. Sure, I knew that the “Return of Saturn” meant that Saturn’s cycle is 29.something years and it is in the same spot it was when you were born. I knew that much. But what I didn’t know – I didn’t really realize until this year is how much you really DO change as a person. You’re an adult – for real! No more games. No more being scared. It’s a time to stand up for yourself! Open your mouth!! Be heard!! I’m not here to be a lemming. If I’m asked my opinion – I’m certainly not going to give the answer I think will make everyone else happy. I’m going to have my own voice because now I realize how much I deserve to be heard. With some years experience to back it up, I might add. There have been sooo many times where I wish I said this or that – but I kept my mouth shut instead. Well, not anymore. The filters in my brain are slowly turning off and I’m finding myself having “word vomit” more often. Oops.
I’m sure most of you have hear Katy Perry’s song Roar. I’m not completely sure but I think that’s what she is talking about in this song. She is only 2 weeks older than me – born the same year. We’re both completing our “Return of Saturn” for the first time.
I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything